Society Took My Life
When I was a child I was a huge hugeee dreamer. Like, I was going to be and achieve everything... a hotel owner, have a zoo, own a Ferrari ... y'know big goals.
My biggest dream was to become a fashion designer, I was going to go to a university in London (no idea which one I never researched it but just knew from a child that's what I wanted) and I was going to be successful. Anyway... I squished this dream in my teens when I was told that there's no point in me trying because I wasn't good enough to compete with all the other successful fashion designers out there.
This was the beginning of me getting sucked into societal pressures. After college I went out and got a traditional job, moved into a rented house with my partner, absolutely panicked what everyone would think when he proposed to me at 18 because it was 'too young', rather than just enjoying the moment - I justified it to everyone and explained that we would have a long engagement (no kidding there 13 years later, still engaged). From 18 I told everyone I was saving for a house and I did genuinely believe that's what I wanted but for all the reasons I never saved a penny (we'll come back to that later).
At one point in my later career I was studying in my personal time for a qualification to support my job because I felt like I should rather than because I wanted to. This went on for yearrsss. It felt like a chore that I never wanted to do but also felt I had everyone relying on me to achieve it.
This all left me really not enjoying my late teens/early 20's. I started getting anxiety, I was unhappy and I never let myself live because of the pressure of this damn house deposit. Every decision I would make, whether It was changing cars (petrol head partner so this happened a lot) or buying something that I didn't 'need', I instantly put thoughts to what everyone else would say rather than to what I wanted.
I let the life get sucked out of me with fear, stress and constant worry. I continuously beat myself up for feeling behind because people I went to school with were buying houses, getting married, having children and holidaying it up and I wasn't doing any of that - I've failed.
I Found Myself
There was a point late 20's when I was part of a Network Marketing company and they were heavily into mindset work. One recommendation was to watch 'The Secret' on Netflix, so I did.... holy bloody moly! I can't even explain the feeling in my body. This was the first time in years and years that I felt passion in my body! I spent all of my spare time going deeper into mindset work and learning more of the spiritual side of things.
I started meditation and journalling, learning about manifestation, the universal laws and understanding that we're always being supported which helped me see things from a different perspective. I put the work in to upgrade my mindset, started pushing myself into new comfort zones and upgraded the mundane routines I had, to ones that made me feel more alive and that supported me. I went on a journey learning about my human design (Generator) and my star sign (Aries) which helped me to understand myself at a deeper level.
One moment I remember was on a walk with a friend and she said to me 'you know you don't have to buy a house just because people say you should. I'm 40 and I rent, it's your choice.' This moment will never leave me because it's the first time I'd seen someone living outside the box in real life (not socials). It was my permission slip... I realised I didn't actually want to buy a house which is why I could never save for one.
Over time I started to heal, to understand myself and find who I really was deep inside - from outside the societal box I'd been put in.
My Transformation
From doing the inner work (which I will also do continuously), I learned so much about who I was authentically and what I wanted from my life. Being locked in society's cage made me so unhappy, I wanted freedom. Freedom to be my authentic self and to embody everything that that came with. I now understand my body, what lights me up and what drains me. I have boundaries and the people-pleasing is no more.
I have the vision for my life, with so much clarity and I tell you - it lights me up every single day. Freedom to travel the world, build an empire, have financial abundance, be my authentic self and give my family the most incredible lives.
Discovering who I am authentically, along with my journey, connected me with my purpose. Which brings me to today - I am an accredited Coach helping others to escape the societal pressures and to build the freedom life that their soul is damn well screaming out for.
My purpose is my passion, I thrive off of the vision every single day and I want to help others to feel the same because there's no feeling like it!
If my story resonated with you, l'd love to hop on a call with you so that we can get you out of the societal trap and build your freedom life together.
© 2025 Kayleigh Samantha Jane. All rights reserved.